The Secret and the Law of Attraction – good stuff but Buddhism says they’re only half the story…

A few years ago, several delegates on the personal development training courses I deliver started asking me if I had heard of the Law of Attraction.

thekey

Many of them had read Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret or Joe Vitale’s The Key which teach that “your thoughts and your feelings create your life” and more significantly that the events (good and bad) that we attract into our lives reflect our inner reality. There was a real buzz around the LOA – it was a new way of looking at life, happiness and suffering. Or was it?

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The six types of Love: Physical, Sexual, Emotional, Intellectual, Practical and Spiritual

After my recent Valentine’s Day post (‘The Buddha in the Bedroom’) I received quite a few messages and questions about Love and relationships. One of the most common issues was around couples ‘growing apart’. So I want to address these questions here and write about six different types of Love. For the Nichiren Buddhists reading this, please note that I am writing today wearing my ‘Life Coach Hat’ rather than as a Buddhist quoting from the Gosho or citing guidance about meeting a Kosen Rufu partner.

6 types of love

My experience of coaching people to make big decisions about their love life is that the question: “How do you want to love and be loved?” is one of the most powerful ones I can ask. It can produce tears, joy, gratitude, relief or doubt in equal measure, depending on who I am talking to and how much they are able to give and receive the kind of love they most value. Often it can produce quite a long silence, because people haven’t stopped to think about it before.

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Struggling to cope? Learn how to challenge instead with this guidance from Kazuo Fujii

I love this quote by SGI-UK Buddhist leader Kazuo Fujii (pictured here in 1993) who outlines the huge difference it makes when we learn to challenge ourselves instead of just coping with life’s difficulties:

Kazuo Fujii (1993) cropped

“There are two ways of approaching life. The first is coping and the second is challenging to change a situation. The situation is the same but the results are different. Coping is linked to the past and our past knowledge and experiences. It is a conservative attitude, limited, restricted, passive, defensive, dependent. There is no vision and no hope. This is not Buddhism. Buddhism is about change. Changing ourselves, society and humanity for good. The way to change is determination based on wisdom. Change is a projection towards the future. It is positive, creative, independent, attacking and seeking. It is an attitude of great hope and vision. Coping is the past projecting to the present. Changing is the present projecting to the future. We can choose. The difference between ordinary and great lives is up to us.”

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A beginner’s guide to choosing your religion

What makes a teaching powerful? And what holds people back from making progress in their lives? I think the most powerful teachings are the ones that cause real paradigm shifts within individuals and society. The ones that shatter our illusions, bulldoze our comfort zones and remove our subconscious excuses for being unhappy. Poems like The Invitation, books like The Alchemist, The Key and Loving What Is. Buddhist teachings such as the Lotus Sutra. I am sure you can think of many others as well. 5

By illusions I mean ‘beliefs that you think will make you happy’: things like: the familiar witty comfort of the cynic. The coping strategy that gets you through another day. Delicious but destructive addictions. Hiding away under the comfortable duvet of failure, instead of getting up and being all you can be. The belief that it is your wife or husband’s job to make you happy. Playing the angry victim. Bitching about other people (just for the temporary ‘sugar high’ it gives you.) Let’s face it, we’ve probably all done most of these things at one time or another, it’s part of being human after all.

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The Undefeated Mind – a great new book about resilience…

… which, says the author encourages: “us to stop hoping for easy lives and instead to focus on finding the inner strength we need to enjoy the difficult lives we all have.” Wise counsel, don’t you think?  If you read nothing else from this book, read the 10 brilliant chapter titles listed below, even without the other 277 pages, the Contents page is very powerful…Image

The book’s author is my fellow SGI Nichiren Buddhist Alex Lickerman, MD. He is an assistant Vice President at Chicago University with student counselling a major part of his role. ‘The Undefeated Mind’ is a book about resilience and about cultivating joy no matter what is happening in our lives.

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How to create a truly amazing Life

I want to share with you some encouragement from Daisaku Ikeda that I first read half a lifetime ago, when I began to practise Buddhism. It was written for University students. It is about having a strong sense of purpose, battling against adversity and creating value for yourself and society. I love this article because it encourages us to dream big (“follow the rainbow in your heart”) and yet it is in no way “pink and fluffy”, in fact it is very strict, warning against indolence, indulgence and cowardice. Image

I have re-read it dozens of times since 1985 and it has kept me on a path that produces ever greater happiness in my life.

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